Sunday, April 25, 2010

I'm a Spy

A house spy that is :o) Since we most likely will be turning this house right back around and selling it after some fix-ups, K and I decided to hit a bunch of open houses today to see what our competition will be. We potentially could close as soon as this Friday! Let me say that after today, I am very, very happy with our house choice. Ours may look like shit right now but the houses that we looked at, some as much as 75k more than ours, do not offer as much as ours does. None of the ones we looked at had as much land (not even by half), none had lake views, none had a second 2 car garage. Our house may not have the greatest bedroom closet space, but it more than makes up for it with everything else (at least I hope it will). We do have to sink a little more money into it than we had originally planned, but not thousands. I'm paying more attention to what we should be using to stage the house rather than live in it. Kind of sucks since I had the whole space laid out already but I can deal.

It feels weird that we aren't going to really live in this house. Well, I guess we will be if it doesn't sell but that remains TBD. We're not going to get greedy with the listing price but I think that it would be safe to bump the price up considerably. With a completely new heating system, an insane amount of cleaning, new paint, the matching appliances, new carpet and refinished hardwoods, new tile, tub and toilet, this is going to be fun to see the finished product. I'm excited. I'm exhausted. Most of all, I'm optimistic, which is the most important thing. We could potentially make enough to pay cash for a new truck (SUV) for me, which, hands down I will need if we go to Detroit. We could be back in the TTC routine sooner than later. I can't get too excited, not just yet. I'll celebrate when the work is done. Whether we just live in a wonderfully updated house or we sell it for a profit, I'll be happy.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

National Infertility Awareness Week April 24-May 1, 2010

I've changed my facebook status to reflect this week. Will you join? Last year many IFers from the boards "came out of the closet" this week. We need to spread our message to as many people as we can. It is the only way we can force insurance companies and government to cover treatments. Let's all get the word out there and stop living in silence.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Baby Items for Phantom Babies

The great thing about all the drama with moving is that I have had little time to dwell in the sadness related to being on a TTC break. I know it will hit some time or another. When it does, oh man. I think it has semi-started with packing. I keep coming across baby things that I have bought along the way. I would do anything to be using them right now with our baby.

I have the bedding picked out. I have yet to buy it but I'm very tempted. I don't want it to be discontinued before we are ready to bring home baby. Is that stupid? Lugging around baby items when we have no baby. I already have tons of fabric to make coordinating items for the nursery. I have the stuffed animals that match. I just need the baby that goes along with these things.

When the hell is it our turn?

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Warning: Roadblock ahead!!

Funny thing about making plans...they don't always work out.

We can't get out of the offer to purchase contract. Our realtor said that we need to seek legal help if we have to proceed. What's nice is that she didn't tell me that she was moving away and as of this Friday, she was going to turn over her files to her managing broker! So that's nice, right? I talked with our mortgage lady and she doesn't think she can help us get out of it due to financing falling through but she will check with her boss and let me know tomorrow.

I just don't know which way to turn anymore. I want to go to Michigan but I want this house. Which is the better choice? I have absolutely no idea at the moment.

Or train of thought the house, fix it, sell it. It's risky but it's not as though we wouldn't want the house if we stay here. Plus we are walking into a boatload of equity.

So yeah I think that we are certifiable.

Are we Nuts?! WTF are we Doing

I keep asking myself that.

I'm insanely nervous.

And surprisingly sad.

WTF are we doing?

Are we doing the smart thing?

Holy crap we're moving.

Monday, April 19, 2010're Michigan

Don't you love how I'm so unpredictable?!? I don't, LOL. We got the formal offer from K's job today and the details are very, very nice. It would be a 10% raise, paid three day trip asap for us to start getting know the area, (at least) 30 days in a hotel with a $60 per diem food expense, all expenses move including packing service (you mean I don't have to pack?? Awesomeness.), job placement help for me (!!) AND they will pay for our closing costs if and when we find a house out there.

A 10% pay raise is a nice chunk of change for us.

Are we completely and utterly insane??


There are two things that I am hesitant about.
1) our house. I love it. I already moved in. I even broke down and posted exterior shots on fb this past weekend. I wasn't going to just as a precaution. Hahaha, I crack myself up. This house is the best house for us, here. I think we can find something in Mich that we like as much or more. At least I hope so. The other part is that we will lose out on the 8k from the gov't. That is unless we can somehow magically find a place in the next two weeks and get an accepted offer on.

2) as much as I say I hate Wisconsin, I have grown used to it. I've got it's quirks down. It's not Chicago, but then again, nothing is. I don't hate it here anymore. I did, don't get me wrong but the time has passed for me to spew venom about this place. We have friends here, even if we are mainly homebodies and only hang out with a couple on a regular basis. That part makes me sad. I have made some good friends up here and I'm nervous as all hell to start this all over again. On the other hand, this is not our forever home. We didn't move up to "Osh'Gosh b'Gosh" to live here until we die so this should be good motivation to make the move.

Why am I suddenly sad about leaving here? Maybe it's nerves. Maybe it's the insanity in my life. Maybe I better figure out a way to call our realtor and break the news that after all this BS with this house, we're not going to be buying it. (::sniff, sniff::)

(on a side note...if we go back to the "everything happens for a reason" maybe this is why there was so much BS with the house and is the reason we didn't close last Friday. IDK)

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Carpet or bathroom

Ok, so in the beginning my mom and L were going to be giving us some money for renovations. It was a substantial amount (5kish) to get everything done that we really wanted to get done. Since it is no longer feasible for them to do that (which is completely fine) we have to do it all on our own. So our renovation list has been cut dramatically. Going into this, the carpets were the first thing I was changing. We're still going to tear out the bedroom carpets since they have hardwood underneath. We'll try to salvage them, if they're in bad shape, we'll get some big area rugs and hide them until we can recarpet. The frontroom on the other hand is causing some, shall we say, heated conversations. I will say that it is nasty. Just gross looking. My thoughts now are that I want to rent a commercial steamer (no way am I letting mine touch it) and clean the crap out of it and make due until we get the tax credit to replace the carpet. K wants to replace the carpet asap.

What I want more is to have the new tub and surround in the main bath put in because we already bought the tile (last night on sale, yay for saving $$) and we know there is one section that we have to replace the subfloor. So in other words, if the tub isn't being replaced, the tiles don't go in. My thinking train is that we should get the bathroom done while we still have the apartment so we can shower (um hello, duh!). Plus then the bathroom is done, save for replacing the vanity top in the future. I have the paint picked out, the shower curtain, soap dispenser, etc. I really love the tile. I want the tile down...which means for me, the tub getting in is more important than the carpet.

The other variable is that we could cancel our furniture order. That would leave us without having to choose between the carpet and the tub. But here comes the bratty me...I dont want to cancel the furniture. I don't wanna. ;o) I really love it and we got an insane deal on it all. I have been looking forward to our first real furniture purchase for years. I know it's not the end of the world in the grand scheme of things but the only non-hand me down pieces we have are our mattress/box spring and our tvs. I'm completely not complaining about being lucky to have been passed a lot of furniture, it has saved us sooooo much $ over the years. I was just ready to feel like a non-college kid (5 yrs past graduation) anymore. Oh decisions, decisions.

Friday, April 16, 2010

IHO Jackie Robinson Day (1 day late)

I have to say that I absolutely loved this book. “Walt” and I decided to read this together but her hold at the library came in before mine so I had to read it after her but we both enjoyed it. I honestly rank it up there with To Kill A Mockingbird for me. I love that book. There are parts that make you laugh out loud (for reals, not just a lol, lol, hahaha, I kill myself sometimes) and there are parts that leave you so frustrated that this was how it really was in the Deep South.

While reading it, I kept thinking about what it really would have been like to be a young adult in the 60s. I have always told my parents that if I could choose any years to be in my 20’s it would have been the 60s. There is something about that era that I can’t get enough of. The good, the bad, the horrific, the everything. There is just something that resonates with me. Maybe it is the beginning of change that I love, the Civil Rights Movement, Women’s Rights, etc, such a turbulent time in our history. I think that people sometimes forget how recent that all was. 1963 was only 47 years ago.

I might be in the minority but the very, very end was anticlimactic for me. I guess sometimes I like things to be wrapped up in nice packages and to have that closure. While it in no way takes away from the rest of the book I guess I would have liked one last chapter that was about where the characters were in their journey 6 months, a year, 5 years down the road.

This is one book that I am buying for my permanent library. I'll even be buying the hardcover version. I strongly recommend this book. It's longer but the pages fly.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Closing is a Mystery

So we still don’t have a closing date. I highly doubt we will close before the end of the month. The entire system is being replaced at the bank’s expense. I am very happy that we don’t have to make the compromise and amend our offer to add in $2k (that would be credited back to us for the replacement). We would have been paying interest on that so I was highly annoyed that K was willing to agree to that. In the end it doesn’t matter, it’s all on their dime.

They are not going to start the work until this Tuesday, the 20th. Supposedly they have estimated that it will take a week to complete everything. I really hope not! It’s not some mega mansion so I’m hoping it can get finished quicker. Once they start work, I am to let our mortgage officer know and she will go ahead and order the appraisal. I’m not sure how long after the appraisal is completed we can be cleared to close. So in my head, April 30th would most likely be the earliest we can realistically close.

Of course there are so many other variables. We need to close by the 5th in order to not have to bring a check to closing for June’s mortgage. Granted we wouldn’t have another mortgage due until July 1st but we need that money for renovations. The other major problem is that we are going to have to pay May’s rent, which we weren’t budgeting for. I called our complex office yesterday and the dingbat I talked to (lord, we’ve had some issues with this woman for the last 2 yrs) said that there is no way that they can pro-rate the rent and let us move out by the 14th. Of course she then proceeded to ask me:
Kay: “You have the two garages, right? Are you going to be needing them because we have a waitlist for them.”
Me: “Well, yeah, if we haven’t closed, we don’t have anywhere else to put the things that are in there elsewhere. (Remember how I said we are rednecks from the city?? We have our 2 daily cars that stay in the extra parking spots that we have to pay for. In the one garage we have the boat and the Harley. In the other is our 88 Iroc Camaro.)
Kay: “Well, if you’re not using them early in the month, we’d appreciate if you would let us know and turn the keys back in so we can rent them out.”
Me: “Like I said, if we have to pay the rent, we’ll be using it the entire month.”

How crazy is that? So you won’t work with me even though we’ve been great tenants, always paying on time and we only need 2 extra weeks and I’m supposed to pay $86 for the garages for the month and then give you the keys before the month is up so you can rent them out and get a double rent collection?? Don’t think so honey. I’ll work with you if you work with me. Needless to say, I’m going to call the manager, Kim, and ask her if there’s anyway she can help us out there. Kim’s a lot nicer and has half a brain so maybe there is some way she’ll let us stay on until the 14th.

So yeah…if we have to pay another full month of rent and a mortgage payment at closing…there goes a huge portion of our renovation money. We’re bare bones right now with our must-do renos. My mom and stepdad were going to be lending us 5k until we got the tax credit for us to do all the renovations we needed to but money got a little tight for them right now so my mom can only spare 1k (which I am not complaining, I’m very grateful she can even do that for us) right away. That helps but I think I am going to be living in a yucky bathroom for a few months. Not the end of the world, just a major disappointment.

K and I are just so done with this whole process. We just want to be in and enjoying ourselves. We had planned on a party over Memorial Day weekend but I don’t think that’s going to be possible. Plus we won’t really have the money for the party, let alone the desk furniture. I really want to have a housewarming party. I don’t know the true etiquette of these parties. Are you supposed to do it within a month of moving in? Can you do it 4 months later? Can we have it on a normal two day weekend?

I thought a long weekend would be easiest to have it on due to all of our family being out of towners but the 4th is out because we will be home in Chicago for a wedding on the 3rd. Labor Day seems too far away, plus that’s my Grandma’s birthday but that might be our only other option. We have weddings in May, July, 2 in August, two high school grad parties in June, 3 immediate family members bdays in July, our wedding anniversary in July, my birthday/step-bros wedding in August. In other words…we’re booked.

Btw, I’m still bitter about having to reschedule my plans for my birthday for his wedding. He got engaged like 2 months ago. Bite me. It’s not my problem his soon to be wife and I were born on the exact same day, almost at the exact same time. People plan things around their birthdays sometimes months in advance, like we were going to do. Last year I was laid off and had like $10 in the bank over my bday so I was hoping to have a fun mini-vacation with K since we haven’t had one since we got married. BAH! I’m such a whiner. Memo to self: get over it. It sucks but you can’t do anything about it :o)

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Third Book - Sweet Life by Mia King

I really enjoyed this book. It's chick lit, but not a whiney, single, never been married, man-hating type of chick lit. The main character finds herself at a major crossroads in her life and marriage and has to figure out a way to make things work. I will say that I thought that the ending was going to be something different than what happened, but in a good way. It was another fast read (can you tell a pattern here?) and I would probably re-read it.

Yes, you can see I like fast non-mind blowing books. I guess I spend so much time spinning my wheels in real life that I gravitate towards books that I can really relax and not have to think too much. Anyway, this is a good book to just relax with on a nice sunny day lounging in the backyard or at the park or at the beach...I mean, it is set in Hawaii after all :o)

Second Book - 8th Confession by James Patterson

I have enjoyed reading James Patterson since the Alex Cross series began. I also enjoy reading the Women's Murder Club series and this is the 8th installment of that series. They are not thought provoking books but they're fast and easy to read and sometimes that's all I'm in the mood to read. I'm not one for spoilers when giving my reviews but I will say this, this book has snakes in it. Even though there are no pictures of them, for people like me that are absolutely, completely and utterly terrified of snakes, even just reading about them freaks the hell out of me. I'm a visual reader so when I read, I picture the scenes - so I had a lot of snake scenes running through my head. I don't know why I am so terrified of them but I am. I used to catch them when I was little but I can't even take a Discovery channel commercial with one on. I scream, cry, shake (mostly because when you see them on tv, the wonderful camera crew has the stupid slithering bastards attacking the camera so it looks as though they are coming right at you) and basically have nervous breakdowns, lol. So yeah...snakes haters, beware.

I am getting a bit tired of the main character, Lindsay's waffling between men. She always seems to have great guys but then messes or almost messes things up somehow. I'm hoping that with the end of this book, she might be ready to finally commit. I'll continue reading this series and James Patterson's (or his ghost writer in most cases) books.

Book Time - Columbine

I'm catching up on some book reviews. I have this and two others to come.

Columbine by David Cullen is a book that I highly recommend reading. David was one of the members of media that day and one who helped give us the (false) picture of that day and the days that followed. He states that this was his way of helping to correct the picture of what they all reported.

Reading this book was a real eye opener. Everything that I remember being reported is so far from the truth. I really don't want to spoil anything - ok that sounds sort of bad, I mean we know what happened but the background we didn't until now - so I don't want to say too much. I started reading this book due to finding out that my work had been the company that had manufactured the library furniture that was in there on that day. From finding that out, it lead to a convo with "Walt" and we found this book on the subject. I'm so glad we read it. Both of us were just so glued to the book. I know that sounds almost morbid, but the majority of the book is not about the actual day of the shootings. We both finished the book feeling so frustrated yet our eyes were opened big time. It's not as though the book gives the rampage more meaning or justifies it in any sense, but we understand what the real goal was for them, as disturbing as it was. We also gain some insight to how deranged Eric was and how depressed Dylan was. You put that combination together and, like the book says, it's just a receipe for disaster.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Disappearing Posts

So that was weird. I posted an entry on Monday night but apparently something went wrong and it disappeared. Of course I don’t really remember what it was all about….so I guess you’re all SOL :o) ETA: found a copy of it. But now my TTC history is all jumbled. WTF. So not my year.

There still in no word on the house front. Supposedly the bank asked for the LA to get two quotes for replacement costs and Bonnie has only supplied them with one. What a bitch. It’s like she wants this deal to fall through. Who knows, maybe she does. Mayeb she has a set of buyers herself and wants the full commission. I wouldn’t put it past her – she’s a shady bitch. I hate this so much. We’re not even excited for this place right now. I mean, we want it of course, but we’re stuck in this limbo hell and all we want is an answer, yes or no, doesn’t matter to us, just let us move on or forward. Oh, and the LA keeps canceling the appraiser’s appointments to come out and get this taken care of for the loan. I just want to throat punch Bonnie. I think I would come dangerously close to following through on that fantasy if I saw her around town.

I feel like I am living in an episode of Hoarders right now. It’s not like we are hoarders by any means but it sure as hell looks that way with the place a complete and utter wreck. I get so much anxiety just walking into the place. It stresses me out to have massive messes around. I’m not a Danny Tanner type neat freak but I do like some semblance of order. I’m getting all twitchy here at work while I am typing this up.

I really need to stop eating all the Easter candy that I have. I’m just shoveling all of the Reese’s Cups in. I don’t even care.

My dad finally caved and called me last night. I was still at work and the owner was nearby so I didn’t answer. When I left 30 minutes later and called him back he didn’t answer. He left a voicemail and it sounded friendly enough so I don’t think he was calling to fight. I tried calling both his cell and house on my way home but he didn’t call me back. Some part of me thinks that he only wants to talk to me when he’s not near any member of “them.” Could be completely off base…but I just don’t care, lol. I don’t even know how to be nice to him right now. I also don’t know how to not talk to him either. This is all new for me. I think I need to stay strong and not bother calling again. If he tries to call again and I am available to talk, maybe I will but I just cant call him and act as though everything is ok. It’s not. It’s far from it.

I’m still so pissed at Eran for both her irresponsibility and the way she treated me. I know the former of is not my job to worry about and it isn’t technically my business but I can’t help it. I will never understand why she gets to have a kid and I don’t, as childish as this is. How is it fair? That pisses me off.

I broached the subject of adoption again last night while we were watching 16 and Pregnant (again). Which, by the way, is an awesome show for an IF to watch. I get to judge them and it makes me feel better. I’m so lovely, aren’t I? Hahaha. Anyway…I asked if I could set up an informational meeting in the next couple of months and he said no because he didn’t know where we are going to end up. I told him that it didn’t matter, either way, the basic steps and information will be the same here or in Michigan. He didn’t really give me an answer. To be fair, it was nearing 11:30 and he was super tired so he just drifted off to sleep. I am really curious and interested in adoption though. I guess to me, I just want a child to raise. I’m less concerned with how that child is born than I am with being a mom. I’m ready, we’re ready. Maybe I am getting ahead of myself. It’s a huge decision to make but I am also aware that we can try 15 more cycles of IUI/IVF and come away empty uterus’d (lol, just made that one up). I want something more definite. Even adoptions can fall through, I am aware of this. I just don’t know anymore. I really don’t.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Still no word

We have not gotten a response from the listing agent on the bank's decision. We should be closing in 11 Nothing like adding a heaping pile of stress on us. I'm so done with everything right now. I haven't talked to my dad in a week now. He didn't call me for Easter, nor did I call him. He always plays the stupid game with me if I call him later in the day on a holiday "I was wondering if you were going to call me..." Um you have a phone too. If you were sitting there waiting for me to call, pick up the damn phone and call me yourself. I am busy running around to my in-laws and my grandma's and my mom's on holidays. Seriously, get over yourself. So yesterday, I said I am not calling. It's up to him to fix our relationship.

I'm sitting here waiting for K to get home from work watching DVRd episodes of 16 and Pregnant. Why the hell do I love to torture myself? I know a lot of us IFers do this. This show is like our punching bag. It's therapy to be able to get pissed at irresponsible (for the most part) teenagers.

I just glanced over to the dining area and I want to scream. This place is such a trainwreck. Boxes and papers and crap everywhere. And do you ever get the feeling you smell? You do the whole pit sniff and feet check...I'm glad I'm home already. I think it was just a smell that came through the window...but still. Now I'm all paranoid it's me. Screw it, I'm only going out to Walmart for groceries tonight - as long as I don't make