Monday, September 27, 2010

If I ignore it, will it go away?

The pain that is. Probably not. So in the mean time, I'm going to pretend it didn't happen.

I got up and had a laundry list of things to do. Remember not too long ago when I was feeling down about the house? I was feeling like it wasn't getting anywhere and we are spinning our wheels, getting nothing accomplished. I felt like it wouldn't measure up to the houses that are in the price range we want to be in should we have to list this place.

Well K made a very smart suggestion. He said we should go look at open houses today. Since the Packers/Bears game is a Monday night game, a LOT of homes were open today. I have no doubts now that we are headed in the right direction with our house. No doubt. We looked at 4 places, ranging from a few thousand more than what we paid for this place to a house that was creepy similar to ours listed for 60k more than what we closed on.

That house was really weird for us to see. We know the original owner of our house was a home builder and that he built this house. He *had* to have built the one we saw today. It had the same quirky things ours does. Same layout almost to a T. The main differences are that our front room is a sunken living room (but we know from neighbors that the second owner did that), our half bath connects to our bedroom and to the dining area whereas this house had it only accessible to the dining area. I wonder which way is the original way - theirs or ours. They had the same old school sliding closet doors, same original shelving in the closets (the bracket was identical to the ones we have) and the funniest part...hardwoods in the bedroom but laminate wood in the hallway! Same damn floor as us. I wonder if they had the same friggin glue problem! I know a lot of houses are similar in nature but it was funny to see our house in a different light. It's not as though these houses are cookie cutter homes, they were built back in the 70s. Well...then again I guess they could have been cookie cutter back in that time frame. Idk. Still fun to see.

What helped the most is that I can see now how our house will be when we are finished. That house was in good showing condition but I can see where even they could do better to sell it faster and for an even better price. That's the great part about having a real estate background. I just forget that not everyone can see all the flaws I see in my own house. Twin house even had one thing that I love, love, love and have been bugging K to add to the to-do list - white wainscoting in the bathrooms. I love that look. I always have. So since we have to redo a little mudding around the tub, he has given me the go ahead to add it :o)

And of course, what weekend would be complete without a trip or two to Menards and Lowes? Not ours at least. While there we found the perfect small space vanity for the 1/2 bath. Currently we have a pedestal sink that is sufficient but it would need to be replaced eventually since the enamel has started to wear off. We have thought about just getting another pedestal but we also were on the hunt for an option that that would offer some storage yet be small enough for the space and fit a small budget...all while not looking cheap. Well, we found it. It's perfect. I love it. It has my white beadboard detail too! And want to know the best part? It was on clearance. Like super clearance. If I told you how much, you'd think I'm lying.

For the vanity and the vanity top, it was $25. Seriously. Here it is:
Not bad if I do say so myself. We'll have to buy new fixtures when we get around to installing this but that's small stuff. I'm not sure what kind I want to go with. I think with the brushed nickel knobs I should stick with the same for the faucet. I hope that is ok since the rest of the house is oil rubbed bronze. It'll have to do. For $25 it will definitely do!

Ok....have I gone on enough about things other than Eran? It took my mind off things to write this long post. Mission accomplished for the time being. I wonder how I'll be in 10 minutes though. Oh - and GO BEARS! Bear down on those cheeseheads so I can have some bragging rights!

Monday, September 20, 2010

Jobs and Chicago

We spent the last 3.5 days back home in Chicago and it was such a great time. I love being home. We helped my sil and her bf move into their new apartment in the city. Big step for them - moving in together! Eeeek. He better put a ring on that finger fast! Haha. I am really happy for them. After that, we had a belated birthday dinner with my grandma and my mom. Then we went to my bil's football game. I can't believe he's a senior AND he has a girlfriend!! One that he actually talks about to us. He is really adorable about it. She's a lucky girl. She snagged the star football player ;o) (and totally being serious, he is the captain and has a ton of buzz right now - just to get my proud sister bragging in there, haha.) Homecoming is next weekend and we are honestly thinking about going back down there to see his game and then to see his last homecoming pictures. I really can't believe he's this old. He was just this adorable little 9 yr old when I met him.

Saturday was my day to get out and do my own thing. We never really split up for long periods of time when we go home. It's always things we do together. And to be honest, I needed the time alone to just relax and bum around. I hung out with old friends, went shopping (bought a new Coach purse and wallet from the outlet!) and had dinner with my mom. Saturday was a great day. I feel slightly refreshed, head a little less foggy. I want to make those days happen a little more often!

Sunday we went to our favorite bar/restaurant for the Bears/Cowboys game. Had some great food  - mmmmm. Love that place. It's my step-dad's regular hangout so we had a fun time with them. Then we went back to the city, had dinner with the in-laws, packed up and came back up :o(

I will say it felt marvelous to sleep in my own bed last night. 3 nights on a crappy daybed/trundle will make you hurt like no other. I'd prefer an air mattress over those, honestly.

On the job front.....I had 3 (yes 3!!) phone interviews on Thursday. One was from a staffing firm that I saw a job that looked interesting so I sent my resume to them. He set up a meeting for us on Wed and said he was going to send my resume to the company to take a look at it. Well, he called back an hour later and was like, they want to meet you ASAP! So he and I are meeting today at 3:45 and then I have a meeting with the actual employer tomorrow morning at 10! I knew September would bring the jobs! The pay is slightly over 6k less than what I was making :o( I'm pretty bummed about that. It's also a much(much) longer commute. Like 60 miles round trip. So I also have to factor in gas mileage and all that jazz. Especially since winter is coming up and we know WI winters can be absolutely hellish.

So yeah, that's my update. I have to go make me some lunch and get primping! I have more to write but that can all come later.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Couches and Sectionals and beds oh my!

From the sound of this entry's title, you can guess that I went furniture shopping today. I spent 6 hours in all sorts of stores. I did take a break for lunch at Noodles and read some more of the book I am reading (Brava, Valentine - review to come later.)

What I found today just further convinced me that I am as confused as every as to what type of living room furniture I want. I still like the original set we ordered. But I am still unsure of getting the couch and loveseat vs the couch and the reclining chair - if we go with that set that is. I found some beautiful sectionals, some waaay more than what we will spend but I also found a couple that I think would work nicely. Still more than we would pay for the other stuff.

I feel like I am talking in circles about this crap. I honestly don't know what I want other than I want new stuff. I want the old stuff gone. The compromise I am thinking about making is buying the bed I want and then taking our existing dressers and stripping them and staining them the antiqued white to match the bed. I've never done something like that though. I keep wondering if I would regret doing this because our dressers are part of the set that goes with the guest bed. The bed is a 4 poster bed and it's in good condition, in general and stain/color wise. The nightstand is ok but the tall dresser and the wide dresser are another story. The tall one has a warped, split down the middle length-wise top. The stain was also nasty at the bottom. My dresser is the short, wide one and the stain is horrendous. It looks terrible. It really does. But they are solid pieces. Big deep drawers and plenty of them at that. I could get some nice handles for them to add to the new look. I guess, what's the worst that can happen to them right?

If I did that, then I can probably get Kevin on board with also getting the living room furniture. Well, he's on board for that already, it's just the bedroom he's not concerned with.

Ok, this is way off subject but does anyone have problems hitting their enter button with blogger? Every time I hit it to start a new paragraph, the curser disappears and then it adds blank lines and if I hit backspace, it does what it is supposed to do and erases the lines. I know I'm not describing this very well but it doesn't enter. and if you hit enter 5 times, it is adding 5 lines but it's not moving the curser down with the new line, it's adding lines but in order to get down you have to use the arrow key or you have to hit back until it's back to where you started and then when you try it again, it works. Phew - got all that?? It's been doing it for a few days now. I think it started when I changed the blog layout or when I copied this layout for another blog. I wonder if I somehow messed up the formatting?? HELP! :o)

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Sleepless Sofa Night

Yes I am up at 1:55 am typing this. I have fallen into this horrendous sleeping pattern in the last 3 weeks or so. Up super late - 3 am is a normal bedtime for me now - and sleeping until 10 am. Not good. Not good at all. Tonight I am forcing myself to stay up and then get UP and out of bed at 8. Hopefully I'll fall asleep early tomorrow. I may keep weird patterns but I am easily re-trained, lol. If only our dog Wrigley was as trainable!

Anyway, I am up looking at couches. And bedroom furniture. K and I had our first disagreement about the money spending tonight. It was over stupid shit. He wants another gun. I say 1) you already have guns. Multiple guns 2) you don't hunt nor will you be hunting anytime soon (aka over my dead body. He knew hunting was a divorce-able offense) 3) Since when did you decide you can get another friggin gun??

Again, anyway...I keep bringing up the furniture to him. I really want new furniture. I think it's unhealthy how much I want new stuff. No more hodge podge. No more cast offs. No more college glory days leftovers. Not that I have any chance of getting all new items but a girl can dream right? I'm beginning to think that maybe the bedroom set will not be happening. I was given the green light to go check out my favorite local furniture gallery (where we ordered those couches from) tomorrow. I've already looked at some of what they have listed online and there is one set that has potential to be similar to the one I covet in the post below.

Now for the couch conundrum. As it is now, we have a couch and a loveseat in an L configuration. It leaves a bunch of dead space at the point since it's a sunken room. We have an end table in there but there is still a bunch of space. The couches that we had ordered would make this same configuration. Now I am thinking that maybe a smaller sectional is the way to go here. One with a chaise on one end. Sort of like the one I originally liked. Except cheaper and less monstrous. It was huuuuge in the showroom.

Another thing I am considering is going a different route and maybe doing two chairs and a loveseat?? To be honest, it's 80% just K and me. On weekends we basically have a live-in friend in K's coworker S. We joke that the guest room is really his bedroom. I told him he should move in and pay us rent and just make it easier on us all since they can carpool and we have the basement S longs for to brew his beer (which, btw is awesome. He's a true WI microbrewery by himself, lol.) Of course we get the visits from parents with or without K's siblings. Overall though, just the two of us. With us doing the basement, a lot of the bigger gatherings will go down there with the bar being there along with the video games and things like that. So do we make the frontroom more of a formal space? Well formal by our casual standards that is.

Decisions, decisions

Monday, September 13, 2010

How Apropos

The $8k landed in my mailbox this morning.

Gotta love that timing.

I walked through Menards tonight saying "I can buy you...and you..and this...and that."

But I didn't :o) Aren't you proud of me?

Like a little kid with a buck burning a hole in their pocket....

Sunday, September 12, 2010

September is PCOS Awareness Month

How could I have forgotten to write a post about this? I will do my best to post some links and info throughout the month. Anyway, here's a pic if you want to steal. I have it as my profile pic on fb right now and I have it in my siggy on the boards.
Here's a banner if you wish to have it as well

and another pic for fun

Spending $ I don't have (yet)

::warning:: whine ahead. stupid thinking ahead too.

I feel like I live in a hybrid of a nice house that I am half proud of and the other half of me thinks that it is a piece of crap. I know that sounds bad but I can't shake the feeling. We're doing the best we can. Right now we can't do much and I feel like I will never get that magazine quality look. I don't even know why I feel like that in the first place. We're not formal people. We don't feel the need to keep up with the Jones. We're not ghetto fab either but I think in my head I thought, hey we own a house now, time to be a grown up.'s like living in the apartment. Except with a lot more responsibility. I just feel like we have been putting up with college furniture and hand me downs for so long that I would be able to move past all that. I even busted the arm of the loveseat two nights ago :o( Now it's all fucked up on the left arm. That set was going to get put into the basement anyway so at least I didn't break something nicer.

I should be able to get past this when we can get back to tackling bigger projects and can buy some new furniture. I got a notification in the mail today from the IRS saying that our 8k tax credit is being processed right now. Woo hoo!!! First thing we are going to do is pay my mom and stepdad back 1500 that we borrowed to get us through closing/K's Detroit trip/emergency need to buy the generator when it flooded. After that we're debating what we should do with the rest.

We *should* pay off the remaining credit cards that K has. Mine have been paid off for a long time now thankfully. We had less credit card debt when we bought the house but we ended up having to go buy a riding lawnmower. I don't know how we thought we'd be ok mowing an acre and a half on a self-propelled walker mower. Dumbasses ;o)  If we pay off those, we'd probably be left with about $3000. I have a huge desire to put it all in savings at least until I can find a job. Having a bigger safety net again would be a big stress reliever.

However, if my dark side wins out....

I want new couches (the ones I had on order before) - $780
renovate the basement - <$1000
washer/dryer (I'm all about craigslisting those, just like our kitch appliances were) - <$500
finally buy a real bedroom set - <$2000

The list goes on and on with what we should do/want to do with the money. New water softener, replace a couple new windows in the extra bedrooms, etc.

And of course out of curiosity right now, I went to look at "my" bedroom set that I have picked out - and they're clearancing it out :o( The 5 piece set is $1137 plus the nightstand is now $237 and the other piece I want is $557. The 5 piece set used to be a tiny shade under 3k. You don't understand how much I love this set. I love, love, love it. Here it is:

I also will be needing a new truck in the not too distant future. K has doomsday written all over his face when he talks about my truck now. I love my Blazer. It  has done well for me over the last 12 years. I don't intend on getting into anything with a payment if at all possible. I don't need a nice new car. The other thing I keep in the back of my head is that my mom has an extra car that she has said repeatedly is that it's mine when I need it. She has known I'll be needing a new car so when she got a new car, they just kept that one as well. I asked K how much it would be to just fix up the blazer and he said that it would take at least 3k...and that's with K doing all the work himself. So at the very least, I have a nice car (it's a decked out super charged Buick Riviera, not your average granny Buick trust me) that I can have for free. We can keep the Blazer for the sole purpose of towing the boat or on super snowy days here. I know the Blazer will not last being a daily commuter but it can still serve a small purpose.

 So yeah, that's the conundrum I'm in. The smart, cautious side says to pay some bills, save the rest for an emergency. The dark side says to spend it. It's "free money." It would help the economy. Hahaha. I love justifications for being dumb with money. What would you do? Pay the bills, do the basement (because hey, when will be able to afford to replace the paneling, flooring, etc?) and then save the rest? I know furniture can wait. It really can. I just don't want to wait.

Save me from myself.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Even books can go Fluck off

You know how there are those moments that remind you of what you don't have at the exact moment that you for once don't have it on your mind? I mean, you spend so many minutes obsessing over something and you try everything  just to put it out of your mind - hello my glass of wine. You finally get to that point. You're in the clear (for now.)

I decided to put my bookcase in our front room today as a temp solution to getting my books out of boxes and making our dvd collection some what less of an eye sore. Eventually the books will move to the small bookcase in the guest bedroom and the large bookcase and the dvds will move downstairs with all the video game stuff that we have cluttering up the front room.

I spent an hour looking for the third box of books. I knew I was missing my hardcover ones and whatever else was in there. Finally found it and brought it in. I open it up and I find these:

Duh. How did I forget that I have these. Did I think I burned them? Did I think they got lost in the move?'s just another reminder of many things.

The baby name books = my naive self thinking I'd need those right away
TCOYF = ok, gotta brush up on my repro anatomy IQ
Good Eggs = hmmm, could I be headed this way?
PCOS and Your Fertility, A Patients Guide to PCOS & The Infertility Cure = Holy Fuck, I'm infertile

I think I'll hit Barnes & Noble tomorrow and ask them for their section of books on "I'm Infertile, Bitter as hell and broke." Then again maybe that's the self help section.

Monday, September 6, 2010


Does this blog have substance? That is something I always wonder. The days I post I'm always left wondering if my entry really means anything to anyone, myself included. Before I started blogging I was always looking for an outlet for the happenings in my life. This blog has become that outlet.

Thankfully for me, there is at least one person that thinks that this blog has substance and for because of that, Kate at (Not Quite)The Life I Have Imagined has bestowed this honor on me:
Now for the formalities that come with this award.

1) Thank the giver!

A huge thank you is in order for Kate. We came together through our struggle through IF on a message board. Of course I'm naturally drawn to anyone living in the Chicagoland area and as a bonus - she grew up in WI. When I started checking out her blog I felt naturally drawn to it. I started reading her blog shortly after she started it. I bestowed the Beautiful Blogger on her months ago and even though she didn't feel quite worthy of it at the time, I knew her blog had the "it" fact for me. It was This Post that made me a huge fan. That day I poas from the first of our IUIs of this year and got yet another BFN. The next week brought my negative beta for confirmation, Shelby's emergency surgery and Eran's pregnancy announcement (and the beginning of the family drama.) I never told her, but that simple Keep Calm and Carry On" sign became my mantra for a long, long time.  I know it is floating out there elsewhere but on that day, I needed that.

Even though IF is many of our worlds, it's not our entire world. It may dominate our thoughts, but it's not every thought. We still have our likes, our travels, our husbands and family. It's about taking charge of your future as well, even if it means going back to school and changing careers. Every time I see a new pillow or decor item she throws up, I'm reminded of all that I have planned for our home and for our lives. If you don't already, check out her blog, you will enjoy it just as much as I do. It seems I am always reading and finding a new way that she and I are similar. From a love of maps, to divorced/remarried families, to sharing the walk of IF heartache, I feel as though I have made a great friend. And thus ends my long mushy thank you :o)

2) Sum up your blogging philosophy, motivation & experience using 5 words.
Infertility, Cathartic, Community, Release, Honesty

3) Pass it on to 10 other blogs that you know have real substance!

We Have Angel Wings (Tarah)
Infertility Sucks: But It's Making Me Stronger ("D" aka an Infertile living in Jersey)
Being Jamie Lynn...(Jamie Lynn)
Fertile Ramblings (Kristin)
It Just Takes One (Lindsay)
An Element of Blank ("L")
Inconceivable?! ("ML" aka The Worms, Worms, Wormie)
Making Me Mom (Hillary)
The Conception Craze (Christine)
Hoping, Wishing, Praying... (Heather)

I have to say...the IF community is nothing but a first class set of women. It sucks that we have to be here. I hate what it does to us. The silver lining is that this horrible battle brought us all together.