Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Keep on moving forward

I felt bad about just dumping the last post on here and saying nothing else. It's been a couple more days and I'm feeling...less horrible? I'm not happy or back to normal but I'm not as inconsolable as I was. I know it sounds crazy to be so upset after the passing of a pet but I know the animal lovers understand the pain. It was so abrupt and devastating. I'm trying to keep my focus on our two remaining furbabies and letting myself cry when I need to. That's about all I can do.

In the meantime, I'll share a couple pics from my trip to my grandparents. We had a wonderful week with them. It did my heart and soul good to spend some quality time with them. Luckily (sort of??) we went the week before the week before Remy left we enjoyed ourselves.

Monday, September 17, 2012

Goodbye Remy, I'll miss you

I know I haven't written in months and months but right now I'm struggling so much because I am completely devastated by the sudden loss of one of our kitties, Remy. Last Wednesday night we realized that he hadn’t been around us at all that evening, which is highly unusual. We were in vacation recovery mode with errands and groceries and so we weren’t home the entire night. He’s a very friendly and social cat, always greeting everyone, never skittish, always begs at the table at dinner like the dog, etc. After fearing that he got out at some point, we searched for him for about 30 minute until we finally found him curled inside a towel in one of the bathrooms. He always comes when called so it was very odd. When K picked him up we saw that he has this goo/drool all over the front of him and it smelled really bad. He wasn’t lethargic, just sort of in a daze but still enjoyed being pet at that point so we weren’t in full panic yet. I have grown up with cats so I thought it reminded me of when one of our cats had an infected/bad tooth. As he was only 4.5, he was so young that I never would have suspected anything serious. We don’t have a 24 hour vet around us so I called our vet and left a message for them to get first thing in the morning. Just in case he had something contagious, we isolated him in the guest bedroom and I slept with him that night.

First thing the next morning I followed up my message to the vet and I asked if I could drop him off right away and they squeeze him in at some point in the day (supposedly there was only 1 doctor on that day). Unlike the night before, in the morning he drank some water and he was vocal and moving around somewhat. I dropped him off and went to work. I got a voicemail at 3 pm from the vet (of course I missed the call due to a meeting) and she gave us the news that he was in extreme renal failure, that his kidneys were 2x the size of normal kidneys and that he had gone downhill significantly since the morning and she didn’t hold out hope for him. K and I left work immediately and met at the vet to discuss in person. By 5 pm we had already put him to sleep. He was so far gone when we were at the vet it was shocking. He couldn’t tell it was us with him. She said that it was most likely very painful for him and so in no way did I want to prolong his suffering so we made that painful decision.

I just can’t believe he’s gone. I have so much guilt over the fact that K and I took our a trip to visit my grandparents the week before and while he had a great time at my in-laws, I regret ever leaving him – even if we had no clue. There were no warning signs other than him slimming down some over the last year or so. We never were alarmed because it was gradual and we had changed the cats’ food to a much better brand instead of one with fillers. He was always active, never sick, nothing. No indication. No other check-ups indicated anything was wrong. I know it sounds silly to some but with our IF struggles, our furbabies have completely taken that role on in our lives. He was a perfect cat. People that hate cats loved him.

I know it's slightly unfair to come back after not writing any updates on us and dump this news but...actually, who even cares. My blog, right? I'll try to get back here for a recap of the summer but...I'm just not functioning right without my Remy. He was my little Roo. I miss him.