Friday, July 25, 2014

My final progesterone week (?)

I had my bloodwork done today (ok, technically it was yesterday since I'm inexplicably up hours after my bedtime) and it did drop again. It came back at 21 which they still felt comfortable with, even if they did say it was a bit lower than they wanted it to be. Since I have had no bleeding, they felt comfortable with me changing my .5cc shots to every other night for one more week and then stopping...and being done. When they said, "If you want us to check the level next week we can" I jumped at that. I'm not ready to be done. I know they are the experts. I really do know that. 

It just scares the ever loving shit out of me. Nothing on google ever helps someone with anxiety. That's a given. I know I should just enjoy this pregnancy and forget about my worries but I just can't. I know the things that can go wrong. I've seen it happen to way too many of my IF friends. I know I can't control the outcome but I really am trying to be as positive as I can.

One thing that I think will greatly help me is the doppler that should be on its way to my doorstep soon. One of my IF group mates has one that was gifted to her by another group member/friend (it's like our sisterhood of the traveling pants I suppose, lol) and she was going to get it in the mail to me this week hopefully. Being able to hear that heartbeat on the high anxiety days will help me out a lot.

I still think it's crazy that I'm 17.5 wks pregnant right now. I do love everything about this - even the anxiety. I feel so lucky - like a lottery winner. We are both so in love with the bunny already.

Sunday, July 20, 2014

RUSA week 2014

As we do every year, we attended our local 4 day Rock USA music festival. We had two campsites again this year and had anywhere from 6 to 15 people at our site at a time. In addition to having a great lineup, it also happened to be the little BIL's 21st birthday. What a freaking way to celebrate a 21st birthday I tell you. Saying that we had a great time just doesn't even cut it. 

This year was a little different for us in that my MIL and FIL weren't up here (family wedding back in Chicago) and with me pregnant...well, the 5 day bender that normally happens, didn't. Funny thing is, I still feel like I was on one, LOL. Being pregnant at one of these things is hardcore, haha. What saved me (big time) was the fact that we had this crazy summer polar vortex for the first few days of the fest so it wasn't even 80* out. If it had been like last year and 90*+, my ass would have done day one and said, "Yeah, have a good time guys, I'm out." Every night I went home to sleep in my own bed and take care of Wrigley so at least the small amount of sleep I did get, it was quiet sleep. Once we got the camper back to the house today and most of the guests had hit the road, we grabbed lunch and then all took 5 hour naps!

I did have my normal progesterone monitoring on Thursday and it did drop slightly to 27. They were comfortable dropping me down to .5cc for my nightly PIO dosage. 

I am beginning to think I am feeling bunny moving now. It's not constant but every now and then I feel those little gas bubble-like feelings and twinges. I could be wrong but we shall see. Time really is passing by quickly I tell ya. Before we know it, bunny will be here. Of course that means that winter is here so...bunny even though I am dying to meet you, I'm not ready for summer to be on the downswing :-)

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Other happenings - Crafts

It's been a while since I mentioned any crafts around these parts. 

I'm currently in a major craft phase. So much so that I took a chance with a co-worker and brought up the idea of her and I renting a stall at our local farmer's market on August 2nd. She was interested so we signed ourselves up! Eek!! 

Now I'm scrambling to get some crocheted items underway along with some sewing projects and crafted items completed. That also includes ribbon wreaths - something that is still a popular blog hit for me years after I posted the original. Here is the wreath I finished:

Remember this one I made all those years ago?
Here it is 5+ years later, a little faded in places but it has held up very well:
I have my business cards in hand already and I am working on my table display in my head. I'm not really looking to be an overwhelming success right from the get-go but I'm really looking forward to the experience and testing. I'll keep posting some of my projects and items as I get them completed and you know I will be blogging about the actual event. I'm excited!

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Progesterone check #1000

Well, it feels like it at least. More like 16 but who's counting?

My number today was 31. I felt a teeny tiny amount of relief wash over me when I heard that.

I am supposed to decrease my PIO to .8cc again. I was a smartass on the phone and said, "So then next week it will crash again and we will go back up, huh?" The nurse wasn't amused. Oh well.

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

PIO rollercoaster

Last Thursday I went for my progesterone check and it had plummeted. I went from 46 the prior week to 19. In that week we had decreased my dosage from 1.2 to .8cc. So back up to 1.0cc we went. Of course this has me nothing but a nervous wreck. I know that many people have had lower progesterone levels than I have. I know that people will continue to reassure me that it will all be ok. But I'm scared and nervous and I wish I could see the bunny. I don't get to go back in until Monday to hear the heartbeat again and that feels like an eternity to me. I just want everything to be ok. I am not good with uncertainty. Like, at all.

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Team Green Annoyance

No, I'm not annoyed at myself for being Team Green. I'm annoyed at everyone else who makes a comment to me about it other than, "That's awesome!" This is most definitely a vent post, lol. And it's not directed at anyone in particular in our lives, promise :)

Everyone and their mother decides to find out nowadays. And that's fine for them. It's just not what I want. I want that moment after birth. I want DH to be able to go out into the waiting room and announce it to whatever family members are sitting there. I was so close to caving for K at the NT scan. I even posted it on one of my fb groups. It wasn't that I had any desire to find out but up until that point, he really wanted to know. I thought, "you know, he's been so completely wonderful during this pregnancy that maybe it would be a nice gift to him." Luckily the bunny wasn't cooperative. Turns out K has been getting annoyed at everyone's TG comments and now he told me that the more people ask and make comments, the more he doesn't want to find out. Score one for me!

I think that part of my annoyance is the way the comments are delivered. Sort of mommy wars like. "Omg, I could never wait. I am SUCH a planner and I have to be able to plan everything." I HATE the planner comment. I am a planner. A huge one. I do it for a living. But this isn't about planning. It's about control. People need to feel in control of this huge life changing event. And that is completely fine. But call a spade a spade would ya? 

Then there are the ones who have told me that I'm making it so difficult to buy a gift for because they need to know the sex of the baby. Um, no you don't. This does not effect your life in one bit. Either wait until the baby is born, pick a different gift, or just don't buy one for us. It's that simple. Other than clothes, everything else is easy to buy for, especially since there will be a registry. And I'm not picky nor do I expect gifts. Stop acting like my decisions about my pregnancy and my child make your life so inconvenient.

And for the record, even if this is a girl....she will not be bathed in all things pink. Nope. Not going to happen. I hated pink growing up and I hated that as a girl people except lace and pearls and pink. I was a tomboy who loved hockey and softball and jeans and the color green. And she will also NOT be wearing flowers bigger than her face on her head. Just no, no offense to giant flower lovers ;-)

Ok, hormonal, raging pregnant woman vent over. Happy July all!